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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Doctor Who: Job Criteria for Prospective Companions

TRAVELLER IN TIME AND SPACE seeks male or female companion with good sense of humour for adventures in the Fourth and Fifth Dimensions.

No experience necessary.

No time wasters, no space wasters please.
-- Solicitation for Doctor Who: Situation Vacant from Big Finish Productions

So you want to travel the furthest reaches of time and space with the Doctor as one of his companions.  Well, as you might imagine, he's a bit particular about who (or what) he brings along on his various adventures and saves from certain peril on a fairly regular basis while looking rather amazing in the process.  Here are several criteria trends to keep in mind before trying to take that first step into the TARDIS...
  1. The Doctor likes the ladies -- Male companions are perfectly acceptable, of course, so no need to file a sexual discrimination lawsuit with the Shadow Proclamation.  However, depending on your count of the television companions, only 12 of the 43 total were male (27.9%), with just 2 being of the android/robot persuasion (4.65%).  Therefore, two out of every three of his companions are female (67.4%).
  2. The dumber, the better -- The Doctor rarely brings along companions of exceptionally high intellect that rivals his own.  Of those 43 counted above, only 7 could be considered to have genius-level I.Q.s (16.3%).  Interestingly, most of them traveled with the Fourth and Fifth Doctors, although several have shown higher than average intelligence since then.
  3. Irish, German, French, Russian, Canadian, Asian, African, Hispanic, Native American, Indian and Arabic companions need not apply -- At least, not yet.  Just putting that out there.
  4. If you're from a period before the 20th Century, you have two chances, slim and none -- Only 5 companions (11.6%) were from a period prior to the year 1963, the year that Doctor Who debuted on television.  Most tend to be either from the time that their first story aired or in the case of Grace Holloway and Adam Mitchell, just a few extra years down the road.
  5. The odds are slim that you'll die...and stay dead -- So far, only 6 companions have died during their time with the Doctor (13.95%), just 5 if you don't count Kamelion, who was an android.   Others like Grace, Jack Harkness and Rory Williams have also died but were brought back to life through some form of convenient storytelling.
  6. The odds are really slim that you'll be fired -- Just one companion, Adam, failed to make the grade and was sacked (2.3%).  So even if you have absolutely nothing to offer the Doctor as a valued companion, you at least have that going for you.
  7. Learn to scream -- (99.999999%)

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