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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

THE COLBERT REPORT Compares Newt Gingrich to Bond Villain


In his latest "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger" segment featured on last night's episode of The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert tipped said hat to current Republican Presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich for "repeatedly alerting the nation to an underreported threat, the electromagnetic pulse."

"Now, Newt is not the only one who is concerned with the coming EMPmageddon," Colbert explained.  "So is Her Majesty's Secret Service."  Colbert then played a clip from the 1995 James Bond film GoldenEye, starring Pierce Brosnan, which showed Bond and his superior M discussing the GoldenEye weapon's ability to create an electromagnetic pulse.

"Yes.  Bond, James Bond...agrees with Gingrich, Newt Gingrich," continued Colbert.  "And just like Bond, Gingrich is calm under pressure, a little cocky, and is frequently seen with different leading ladies.  Plus, his half-million dollar line of credit at Tiffany's proves he knows Diamonds Are Forever."

The Bond comparisons didn't stop there.  "And as David Brooks (of The New York Times) pointed out, Newt has called for '...a permanent lunar colony to exploit the Moon's resources.'  Hmmm...Sounds to me like Newt...is a Moonraker.

"And Newt has also pointed out that '...a mirror system in space could provide the light equivalent of many full moons so that there would be no need for nighttime lighting of the highways.'  Hmmm...Hmmm...Giant solar mirrors also seem familiar..."  At that moment, a scene from another Bond film was shown, with Gustav Graves unveiling his new orbital mirror satellite Icarus that later turns out to be a deadly weapon.  "It's the plot of Die Another Day!"

It then occured to Colbert that all of these schemes were from the villains.  "That means Gingrich isn't Bond...He's Blofeld!" 

Supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld could not be reached for comment from within his secret lair inside an active volcano.  If you'd like to see the full Colbert Report segment, you can view it here.

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