I May Have to Declare War on SunChips

As anyone that has eaten Frito-Lay's SunChips in recent months knows, their current environmentally-friendly biodegradable chip bags are insanely loud and noisy as all hell.  There you are, sitting in front of your TV watching Doctor Who or House or whatever late in the evening, trying to relax, and you get a sudden craving for some SunChips snacky goodness.  So you go to get the bag, hoping not to disturb your significant other in the process, and reach for the bag... 

KARUNCHRACKLERUNCHRACKLERUNCH!!!!

Well, it seems I'm not the only one with this important troubling issue.  After receiving numerous customer complaints, Frito-Lay announced today that they are pulling most of the dreaded SunChips bags.  Wait...most?  Yep, not all of them.  In what can only be considered an absolute Dick Move against me (Okay, maybe some other people as well),Frito-Lay is keeping the damnable loud eco-packaging in the Original flavor only.  Original isn't even their top flavor, it comes in second after Nacho flavored, so why punish those of us who prefer SunChips in their pure, uncorrupted state?  Now, I'm as environmentally-conscious as the next guy, which means I'll try to do something to benefit the environment as long as it's convenient and requires minimal effort on my part, but this...this is going too far.

In an attempt to gain some answers, I tracked down Frito-Lay's official account on Twitter, @Fritolay, and asked them, prompting the following exchange this afternoon:

To @Fritolay Why are you keeping only the original Sun Chips in that horrible eco packaging? Those are the only ones we eat! Go all or nothing

To @CharlesSkaggs We're still very committed to sustainability but know we need to make some tweaks. Less noisy bag is in development now!

To @Fritolay Sustainability is great, but why punish only a select group with the loud eco bag? All we Original lovers want is fair treatment.

As of 9 p.m. this evening, no response back from Frito-Lay, which means I may have to declare war on SunChips until this obvious bag discrimination against Original flavor lovers is finally abolished.  Now, you may ask "Couldn't you just pour them out into a bowl?"  Sure, if I felt like eating the entire contents of a bag of SunChips before they go stale by sitting out on a table.  And in a plastic bowl no less?  C'mon...  "So what about putting them in a food storage bag?"  I thought of that, too, but then you have to throw away the plastic bag, which defeats the whole environmentally-friendly purpose of the obnoxious chip bag, doesn't it? 

Frito-Lay has obviously outmaneuvered us mere Original Flavor SunChips lovers under the guise of environmental sensitivity, but there's no telling what their final endgame may be.  Even more horrifying, this so-called "sustainability," whatever it may involve, could just be the beginnings of a vast worldwide snack chip conspiracy.  So be vigilant, protect your loved ones and in the name of all that is holy, keep a watchful eye on your snack chips...before it's too late.